I ended up spending a large part of this evening talking to my wife about our relationship. And while we made some progress this evening, we’ve got a ways to go before our relationship gets back where I’d like it. “Baby steps” as my wife puts it.
No relationship is perfect, and I know even at its best, my wife and I will have some differences. My wife and I are polar opposites in a number of different ways, and while that isn’t insurmountable, it makes certain aspects of our relationship difficult.
One recent “change” that is a fundamental difference is in diet. Regular readers of my blog know I’m currently doing Atkins. The foods I eat on a regular basis are the kinds of foods my wife doesn’t like to eat all that much.
Even before I had this recent revelation about my relationship with my wife, when things were “bad,” things weren’t “horrible.” Despite our differences, my wife and I manage to provide a loving environment for our children. We don’t fight with each other (occasional argument, but it rarely lasts long), we don’t hate each other, and we manage to get along, even with differences. Considering some of the screwed up relationships I’ve seen on talk shows like Dr. Phil, we’ve got a pretty good relationship. It may not be ideal, but it certainly could be a lot worse.
It’s all about I’ve been choosing to focus on. Lately, I’ve been focusing on the things in our relationship I don’t like. Obsessing about them almost. That’s made me crazy. Funny, my son had a similar episode today where he obsessed about the couple of bad things that happened to him yesterday instead of all the other good things that happened and was crying about having “a bad day.” “Oh my God, you are so your son’s father” my wife says to me.
Bottom line: I need to focus on the good in our relationship and work to improve it.